TV: On?

According to Christakis et al, early childhood television viewing is linked to ADHD at age 7. This is further backed up by studies that indicate that viewing at 0-years can cause delayed development of the cerebral cortex (and, I'm guessing, cause -- yup -- ADHD!). All of this should lead scientific minded parents like us to not allow our beautiful, unblemished child to be exposed to the flashy shots, the quick transitions, and the harmful frames per second that could in any way hamper her maturation into the Super Being that we know she will someday become (and is!) Lesson? No TV for Ara! One problem: SHE LIKES IT! I'd been told when I was pregnant that if you sing a song to the baby in utero, or read it (her!) a book the baby will calm to those same sounds once born. Well, Ara started out life in the womb being exposed to such hits as Weeds, The Entourage, Big Love, daily Daily Shows and Colbert Reports, and let's not forget, seasons upon seasons of Will & Grace. So guess what calms her down now? Yup: Theme songs. As soon as the tinny piano of W&G issues forth from the laptop (watched on fully-paid-for DVD, of course!) little Ara stops her whimpering, and quiets right down! This was fine at first. Even a nice feature! "Oh - how nice! Songs that will calm the screaming howling baby!". I made sure that she didn't look at the screen, because, knowing what I know, how could I consider myself a responsible parent if I didn't? Positioning her away from the screen was easy enough - we'd prop her on our laps, and away we'd go - into television bliss. Alas, one day the theme songs stopped working. Ara was no longer quieted by the gentle strains of "Little Boxes" or even "God Only Knows" (a real favorite!). This was chalked up to "development", since it seems that every day, something that had worked as a soothing mechanism, magically stops working (much to our chagrin) But then, during a particularly exciting episode of Rock Star: Supernova, Ara started fussing loudly. (by "fussing loudly" I mean wailing at the top of her lungs) This is a show that we watch live, so no pausing was possible; immediate action was required! We initiated the "burp hold", in which we grab Ara around her tummy, and face her out from us while "enthusiastically" bouncing her up and down. This is a stationary version of the "burp walk" which is more effective, because it keeps her both distracted (changing scenery!) and also burps her at the same time. But obviously, moving around and watching Rock Star at the same time is completely impossible, so the lesser version had to be used. As soon as we got her in the usually insufficient hold, she stopped fussing. It was miraculous. Plus, supreme Rocker, Ryan Star (the "dark horse") was delivering a riveting version of the previously uninteresting Stones hit "Paint it Black" (I can't beLIEVE Gilby, Tommy and Jason didn't like it more - Navarro: I'm with you! What a REVEAL!) We were captivated! So, it was a good few performances before we realised why things had become so peaceful and quiet: Ara was Watching TV! We tried turning her around during the commercials, but it was clear: if we wanted to watch Rockstar, she was going to have to watch it too. And so, for our own petty and evil reasons, we jeopardised our child's cognitive development. "But just this once" we promised. Since then, we tried watching TV with her turned around facing us, but now that Ara's got almost full control of her head, she realised that she could simply crane her neck and watch over her shoulder! She can also tip her head backwards to watch upside down! This girl is willing to go to great acrobatic lengths to get her hit! (Please note that us not watching TV in solidatiry with our tv-t-totaller baby is not an option) Part of me doesn't believe in this whole ADHD being caused by TV thing. Of course, stats don't lie, but I know that if TV was so deadly for babies, then I'd be doing a lot worse in life! My first phrase was, after all, "TV: On?" So, maybe I'll have to put up with my daughter following in my footsteps as a hyper TV addict. But we may have to put her in detox after all, if not for her mental development, then for her emotional state. Ara got upset WAY out of proportion when Alison was kicked off Project Runway, and is having quite a difficult time putting up with the political debate caused by the imminent christening of the Steven Colbert Hid in Hungary (17-million votes, one cast by Ara!). No. It won't do. So no more TV for little Ara. Until she turns 3. And then it's all TV, all the time! Don't worry sweetee - we'll tape all the back eps for you!

Stand Up, Baby, Stand Up!

Alright alright. As you can see, Ara isn't exactly standing up On Her Own. But this is her current latest trick: Fussing irritatedly while (seemingly) comfortably seated, and then, using my (or Ryan's or May's) hands for balance (and balance alone! I swear!), hoisting herself into a standing position. Her look once she gets to the top is serious and concentrated, but the ceasation of fussing indicates a mood-improvement at the very least. She LOVES it up there!! Her version of standing is quite hilarious though - it's like she's not quite sure how to use her feet for all this. As you can see (shown on right), her feet are often oddly positioned so that she's almost standing on their tops, and her toes are kind of "engaged" during the whole affair. And all this despite May's encouragement and insistent cries of "Flat your Feet! FLAT YOUR FEET!!!" While this all seems quite exciting, and further convinces us that Ara is a Super Baby, it is also somewhat worrisome. It suggests that Ara will, indeed, walk before she can crawl. This is completely our fault. ALL the good parenting books have the slogan "Back to Sleep; Tummy to Play" emblazoned on them. Otherwise, they say, babies will balk at the tummy position, and will never actually get the hang of crawling! They'll just do what Ara is doing, which is start sitting, then standing, then walking! Of course, as someone with a mile-wide competitive streak, this seemed good to me! What a thing to be able to say about your kid, while beaming with sinful pride? Well, that was my attitude until Grandma-Syd pointed out that the right-left coordination involved in learning to crawl was actually a pretty important developmental step. Of course, the books don't mention that. But unless you're putting your child at risk by slathering her nails with lead paint, they don't see very many things as real threats developmentally. I had to admit, upon reflection, that crawling did seem like a nice thing to be able to do. And THEN I recalled the Poisonwood Bible, in which a twin has psychologically-induced paralysis due to, and listen closely here people, Never Having Crawled As A Child! So, I recognize that Barbara Kingsolver isn't the authority on child development, even if the book DID manage to make it onto Opera's book list. But it still kind of has me spooked. So why have we not been giving our child the chance to go through this important developmental phase? Well ... simply put .. she really HATES being on her tummy! At all! Ever!! It's not that she's not able to do good stuff when she's down there. She can do the mini-pushups that are required for her age (even though she refused to demonstrate this while on display for the pediatrician. Performance anxiety??) and can heave her head and chest to a 45-degree angle with the floor. But the whole time she's doing it she's SCREAMING! And for those of you who have not had the pleasure of hearing Ara in full voice, this girl can BELT. I swear, people in Shanghai know when tummy time has come around. So, maybe we'll stuff our ears with cotton, and try to get her more into tummy time. But for now, it's quiet standing room only!!

Cien Dias de Ara

In Chinese Custom, the 100th day is a Big Deal. I've tried to find out why, but so far, have only managed to get knowing looks and "Well ... it's an old custom" out of anyone. Here's what I've found on-line:

On the hundredth day some Chinese families host another celebration. Friends and family bring fish and chicken to the child's home. When the chicken is cooked, the tongue is rubbed on the baby's lips to make the child a good talker. And the baby's paternal grandfather may present the baby with a rocking chair.

Well ... alas, in these days of bird flu and political correctness, we have had no chickens, hence no tongues, hence no tongue rubbing. I guess that means that Ara won't be a good talker. That's certainly been true so far! Her vocabulary to date merely consists of a complicated and intricate collection of Ooh's Gooh's Gaa's and WHOOOO's! And then lately "GHGHGHGHGH!!!!" while blowing bubbles. Perhaps these will someday evolve into actual words, and perchance even sentences. But to date, there is no indication of this.

And sadly, Chinese Custom #2 has already been slightly preempted: Ara already has a rocking chair! Of course, perhaps the paternal grandfather is supposed to send a rocking chair for ME (feel free!), but if it's truly a chair for Ara, then a trip to the Chicco store a while back rendered that 100-day ritual about 30 days too late.

According to the zoo with the pandas, the 100th day is the day when the baby can finally be named. Up until this point, the Chinese might have been referring to the baby with her "milk name", the name that is used to fool evil spirits. Apparently there are many name changes through life for more or less this purpose. Well, Ara has been called Ara since day one, so hopefully the evil spirits will just look the other way on this one too.

The cynical basis for the 100-day naming ritual is that giving a name to a baby may seem karmically presumptuous, and may cause spirits to reclaim the baby to the spirit world. After the 100th day, the baby is strong enough to survive, and so naming it, and making it part of this world, is fair game.

So - I guess we've really been tempting fate. Ara seems none the wiser, thankfully. Happy Hundreth Day sweetee!! Glad you made it!!

Looking Back: Ara's First Date!

A couple of weeks ago, Ara went on her First Date with her little friend Jackson! This was not the first time that Ara and Jackson had shared space, since they met while in utero, and exutro (but in sleepeo) a couple of times. But, this was the very first time they have actually interacted! It was incredibly exciting. Jackson is twice Ara's age, and is leading the way in many things, including such great hits as toe eating, sitting up (unpropped!), rolling over, and gorgeous giggles. He was quite the role model! The day also included other firsts, including First Time In Overpriced Stroller (all of 4 minutes was spent in the precious object, making each stroll cost roughly 100Euros so far), and Out In Public (albeit in the comfort of the Tung Chung rec centre). Ara hung out and watched her parents play ping pong, and at one point got SO excited that she puked everywhere! Nice going baby! The pressures of table tennis sometimes make me nauseous too. The last excitement was Breastfeeding In Public. Okay - we were in a glassed in ping pong area, and there was almost no way anyone could see, but still - this was Ara's very first time eating in front of strangers. She did remarkably well! AND she saved the second vomit for Kim and Jeff's place! Nice for them! Next date: Swimming!

Lap-Sitting; Laughing

Well, it's true - the growth spurt is definitely in full swing. Ara's eating a tonne (well, at least, it SEEMS like she is...) and is now, get this, full on laughing! Like, real belly laughs! Of course, we didn't manage to catch that on camera, because as soon as she sees that lense extend in her direction, Ara becomes Little Miss Serious. But believe me. She's officially a laugher now. Video soon to come... Also (and this really is quite exciting), I managed to compute with Ara Right On My Lap this morning! Of course, she isn't totally sitting up on her own, but she also isn't flopping all over the place! This is a whole new Ara-feature! An exciting world of ara-oriented computing is on the horizon!

Happy Birthday Syd!

Coming Out!

This week has been quite a doozie. Yesterday, we went out to central. And when I say "out", I mean "OUT". As in, Out Of The Sling! Formerly, excursions to Central had always involved insane marathon sling naps for Ara, where we had managed, somehow, to get all the way from The Cloister to downtown, have manic coffee, and then get back, without the little one making a peep! But, now that Ara is nearing the 100-day mark, we decided that it was time to try the next phase. An Awake Ara Outing. As you know, we'd already managed to do this at the Chung Chi staff club, but honestly, having her out in a noisy chinese restaurant was small potatos in comparison to going to the expat enclave and threatening to be those annoying parents who think their child's shreaking is no big deal. I remember all too well how much I loathed people who brought small children into adult spaces. And now I am that person! Good god. So off we went. The idea was that the commutes would be done with her sleeping, and the awake time would be us bjorning around central. Little did we realize how exhausting the whole thing would be. Here's how it actually went: NT->Central: Ara asleep (this part was according to plan) IFC for coffee: Why is Ara still sleeping? Princes building for forced breastfeeding: She'll never sleep tonight if she goes on like this! (how unfortunately precient) Okay - what the hell to do with her now? Walk around Princes building where we meet a lovely little family with their baby Nicole. Nicole, who was 6 months old, and incredibly silent. We felt quite smug that Ara was smiling and batting at her while Nicole just sort of stared at her. This soon turned to envy as Ara's adorable social smiles and coos turned to shrieks and agitation. New scenery was obviously required. Eighth beverage of the day consumed at Mix until 2 hours later: why is Ara not sleepy??!! Ara finally asleep -- we head to Page One where I find a New Kate Atkinson novel! I did a little dance, I'm not too proud to say. Yes, right in the Page One. Central->Kowloon Tong: Ara asleep (what a good baby) Kowloon Tong->University: Ara Awake! On The Train! This was most exciting and nerve wracking. And it elicited more overt stares than even Ara in the sling! People were totally enchanted, which was cute, until the vomiting began. Now, after that amazing day of inadequate naps and lots to see you'd probably assume that she'd sleep like a log. Not So! I fear that we jetissoned her into one of the famed "mental growth spurts", because we woke up this morning and lo and behold, she now needs to be actively entertained. Rattles work, pictures work, smiles work. But, if you'll notice, ALL of these require a considerable amount of energy, which neither I nor Ryan had, considering Ara slept all of 5 hours last night in lovely compact 1.5 hour segments. Other amazing feats this week included mini-situps (shown left) and Feet Discovery! Oh, she'd seen her feet before, but never actually reached out and grabbed them. Way to Go!

May 15th: Dawn of a New Ara!

At 7:43 PM (what a civilized time), May 15th 2006, our beautiful wonderful daughter Ara was born. She eased her way into this world after hours of not so bad contractions, and then 45 minutes of near hilarious pushing. All this was helped along by the most amazing midwife, Sylvie, without whom, none of this would have been possible. The able obstetrician, Rob Dawkins, was almost an afterthought, and pranced in, wearing dapper white, to help with the cleanup, and some of the heavy lifting. Beautiful Ara gurgled a little with her first cries, but was mainly calm and wise looking, just kind of peering at us, and taking it all in. We then spent four wonderful nights at Matilda hospital on the amazing Peak in Hong Kong. I have to say, that this was probably like staying in the best (and most expensive!) hotels: constant room service and babysitting, and gorgeous views. It was a lovely way to ease into parenthood. (maybe even too lovely - we had No Idea how hard it would be without the staff of 30 that Matilda provided!) The night nurse, Juliana, was amazing, and taught us the importance of cuddles and burps. Of course, she said that Ara was her Favorite Baby, but I bet she says that to all the moms!

Sleepless in Hong Kong

Just when you get your horse used to living on nothing, it up and dies on you. So was the tale last night, as I endured a DISTURBING night of lack of sleep. Little sleepy one (shown left) was unfortunately NOT that sleepy last night (and, horribly, the night before), awakening no less than 5 times. Not to eat, necessarily, but just to make her discomfort generally known. Actually, she only woke once to eat (well, twice, if you count the 5:45 hell wakeup). She woke up twice because of temperature issues (damn our communist air conditioner!), once because the cat was being loud (mom - do you want the cat back??) another time because she'd broken out of her supposed Miracle Swaddle Blanket, for which we paid a small fortune(shown here). What's worse, is that this all comes after a wonderful 3 week stretch of single-wakeups (one 6hr stretch, followed by one 4hr stretch - not bad, eh?), during which time I was lulled into a false sense of security and "my baby sleeps through the night" smugness. The "does your baby sleep through the night" question is really the hot topic here. It's the question I'm most regularly asked by the locals, who seem to be sleep obsessed. "You have to train your baby!" seems to be the consensus. I'm honestly not sure how to do that. Some suggest that giving water instead of milk in the middle of the night is the way to go. Others suggest simply ignoring her cries, and letting her just go and go until she pukes and passes out. Believe me - that second option has sounded good at times, but evidence has shown that this baby has an INFINITE amount of energy for crying, and I'm pretty sure that after an hour or so, I'd give in and feed her. Who wouldn't? And the water thing might work for some people, but I'm still breastfeeding, and trying to keep a good supply going, so skipping out on one feed a night is not on. Also, most of these times, she's not waking to eat anyway! Just to fuss! So how exactly I implement a training program in there, is unclear. My absolute favorite suggestion is to "Leave the baby with the Amah - let her deal with it!". (For those of you not Hong Kong locals, "Amah" is the cantonese word for "Domestic Helper", or, what is commonly the case, "Surrogate Mother".) I guess I would get more sleep if I relinquished my nighttime parenting duties ... Hmm... The only thing that saved me last night was that Ryan managed to completely take over at 5:45 for the last wake-up. He put the baby in the sling (Our Amah, May, HATES the sling, and blames it for all of Ara's sleep issues -- which, incidentally, were nonexistant before she stopped sleeping in the sling... but I digress...) and managed to keep her happy while I slept until 8. For that, I will be forever grateful. After that terrible night, the only thing I was able to do was heave myself out of bed, and watch Rockstar:Supernova, which, I'm sad to say, was dissapointing. I will say little else, for those of you reading this before the show airs in your timezone. Suffice it to say, Delana's Got To Go. Rob Zombie is NOT right for Our Band. Why they like her is beyond me.

Ara's First Post!

Today is Ara's 3-monthiversary, and she's finally on the web! Soon, we'll go back and fill in some details of earlier days. Today has been a big day for Ara! She's been out for a mosquito inundated walk (somehow mommy is the only target?!) and had a soap-free, oily bath (dry skin be gone!). Calls from both grandmothers came in (thanks guys), and in-crib napping was finally accomplished! This week has also been exciting, and involved new stuff - the highlight has to be lunch at Chung Chi Staff Club with dad (or grandpa, I guess). This was the first time that she was actually out in the world, publically, and available for unsolicited touching. She got LOTS of it. The waitresses, previously only having been able to peer in at her in her protective sling, were losing it with excitement. The entire wait staff seemed so distracted by her that it actually took quite some time for us actually to get them to believe we wanted to eat. Luckily, Ara's excessive vomiting managed to convince them that this wasn't a public viewing. Way to go!